If I had to sum up my day in 3 words – well, those would be them. I’m not going to touch on the amazing feat of my sister swimming across a channel, I want to focus on what today meant for me.
Magical, I’m a Pisces, so water has an amazing effect on my life, and one thing that has been neglected in my transition has been water, swimming and just getting back to something I love. I arrived on the island, and hunted out a secluded beach, before stripping down to my bathing suit, and going into the water – it was as I said – magical, I floated around, I swum, and really is it not me if I don’t take photos. While taking some, a gentleman asked if I wanted him to take some photos. Sure – and I didn’t feel awkward at all, the guy treated me kindly.
I then walked along the beach for approximately 500 metres, and it sounds stupid – but I did think, wow this is how it feels to walk down the beach as a woman…. Ummm, what’s the difference – I still couldn’t work it out – but I felt different.
While I walked along that beach I focused on the past 24 hours, and I had a couple of challenges, that I did not handle very well. Sure they were emotional and about me being transgender, but I’ve coped before, but these were my biggest fears of transitioning. How can I get my mind clear, how can I break it down, analyse it, and learn. I was by myself so couldn’t talk with anyone else about it – but I wrote things on the sand, One of them was “I am here” One of the lessons of this is – make sure you have your own headspace right before you try and sort out someone elses. I then sat and asked, why did I feel this way, and worked it out. I know I will still struggle with those things – but I’m hoping I’ve got ways to deal with it now.
Ouch… Well you should see the amount of sunburn I have, and random spots of them. My back did take a bit of a hammering, I forgot to take my rashie, and the top I was wearing was a bit transparent – which wouldn’t of helped. My cleavage, the back of my legs and spots on my legs and feet. I really need to remember – I expose more of my body than I ever had before, but also – I’m glad I did pretty well with it though.